For those of you like me who were born in the 1950s, like me, or just after the war I understand your frustration and probable anxiety in becoming a ‘baboom’. That is my term for a baby boomer. It seems that we are now being blamed for matters from quadrupling dementia to superannuation problems and just about everything else. Today Channel 9 led the assault in saying that “baby boomers are a health risk”. I am waiting with baited breath to see just what we are are risk of or a risk to, no doubt there is a solution: perhaps Devil’s Island. or some similar destination. Whatever you do never look hard of hearing, walk with a limp, have memory lapses or you could find yourself part of a disappearing baboom population. (George Ikners ikners.com Joomla)
Perhaps we should start thinking about lowering our ages. That may mean missing out on pension ‘benefits’ for a little longer but that is better than becoming part of the, “big yellow taxi took away my old man” theme song for the aged. Don’t laugh “here today gone tomorrow” was not developed as a description of how quickly you can spend your money.
Perhaps joining a gym and getting on ‘roids is an answer together with a wig, as long as it is better than the one Bert Newton wears (now there’s a real oldie). Being seen with younger women in sports cars is a real No No particularly when getting in and out of the sports car becomes a problem, it just makes you look like a dirty old man anyway. Reverse the gender and partner for the same effect. So being a cougar is no heaven sent guarantee of avoiding the problem.
What happens if that does not work” There you are in a vehicle being taken to some unknown location with no prospects of communication with family and friends. Young up and comers bearing placards line your route to wherever. What the placards say is at least disconcerting, “Better dead than fed” is just one example. Don’t expect the drug companies to help. Of course they are eager to make money out of any ‘disease’ even ones that do not exist. Because as our baboom population is being herded into ‘safe’ areas, lest the condition prove contagious the market for fabulous profits go with us to our combined fate.
There are more real ‘do not be seens’ you need to consider. Never be seen, playing chess in a park, walking anywhere with a brown paper bag containing a bottle, anywhere near a vacant park bench or just basically alone. Maybe what we need is some PR firm or a good team of spin merchants who can convert the aged and aging into a new vibrant force. But please forget line dancing it is the first step on the road to nowhere. The future, don’t you hate that word, does indeed look bleak.